Pero, I served anyway (March 2024)

You can't always count on the doctor to lead the way.

I was her power of attorney.

And yet you tried to make me feel powerless.

I served as her POA anyway.

I was named as her agent in her notarized advanced healthcare directive.

And yet you tried to make me feel useless.

I served as her agent anyway.

I was there to serve as her interpreter.

And yet you tried to make me feel voiceless.

I served as her voice anyway.

I was ready to administer her medications to mitigate the risk of infection for your healthcare team.

And yet you tried to dismiss me.

I served as her nurse anyway.

I was ready to help address her basic daily needs. And yet you tried to discard me.

I served as her LVN anyway.

I was her caregiver.

And yet you tried to make me feel unsupported.

I served as her caregiver anyway.

I was her daughter, and she was my best friend.

And yet you tried to make me feel alone.

I served as her daughter and best friend anyway.

Your wicked attempt to silence me failed.

Mija, you were so naive.

Little did you know the more someone tries to silence me, the more eloquent my speech becomes.

Little did you know the more someone disrespects me, the more confident I become.

Little did you know the louder someone gets, the calmer I get.

You see, unbeknownst to me, I've been preparing me for this very moment all my life.

Mija 1, you had no idea. Pobrecita 2.

You thought I'd let her die alone? Pssshhhhh, over my dead body!

Was it my fierce love for her that made you feel uncomfortable?

Did we showcase a type of deep love you've never known?

I may appear young, but I have an old ass soul.

I am backed by angels and ancestors you can't even begin to fathom.

I harness the type of power you can only dream of.

The nature of the force within me is unstoppable.

You see, like the virus you feared, love penetrates the membrane of every single cell in my body.

As my mother always said, "I am vaccinated by the blood of Jesus Christ".

They don't teach you about that in medical school, do they?

My Chingona fire 3 only burns brighter and hotter around people like you, muchacha 4.

If you only knew I'm a human rights and healthcare advocate,

Perhaps you would not have needlessly called security on me.

If you only knew I'm a peaceful but informed warrior,

Perhaps you would not have empowered me with your nasty words and judgment.

If you only knew I'm an educated Latina,

Perhaps you would not have given me the literature that further legitimized our concerns.

If you only knew that I'm an avid reader,

Perhaps would not have handed me the AMA that further strengthened me.

Your last-ditch effort to rid yourself of us and save your ass was cute, mija 5.

Pero, I forgive you, mami 6.

In fact, I thank you.

Because of you, I have found my purpose.

Because of you, I have made it my life's work to educate others.

Because of you, I talk about death every day.

Because of you, I know I can do anything in life.

Because of you, I've alchemized deep sorrow into fuel!

Thank you for sparking my innate fire, doctora 7.

(Please note that some Spanish was used in this blog. Here are the definitions.)

Pero (used in title) - But

1 Mija

2 Pobrecita - Poor dear (feminine)

3 Chingona - bad ass woman

4 Muchacha - Young lady

5 Mija - Darling

6 Mami - A term of affection for a woman. Literal translation is mother.

7 Doctora - Doctor (feminine)